My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
if i can run in heels then i can drive
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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