He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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