At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
