so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize