i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
