she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize