you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
