Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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