Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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