I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
