I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
