how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
