Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
