Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
