just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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