Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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