I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize