Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
