What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
