some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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