I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
