...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
