Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
