1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
