Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize