She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
