I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize