She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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