Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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