Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize