First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
50% drunk capacity currently
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
