If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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