I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize