were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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