sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
