I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This show inspires me to have sex in space
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
