So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
