Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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