In the future we'll all be gay
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
