I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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