Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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