walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
third nipple confirmed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
