But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
