i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
