She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
