after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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