that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
