We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
