I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
