He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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