My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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