Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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