that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
