so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
