we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
