Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
