My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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