And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
