I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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