We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize