going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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