loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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