Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
