party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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